Art Sistory

Here he is! Ring the bells! Sound the trumpets! Brandi's favorite artist is here and it is Bernini. Our beautiful baroque boy is the cream of the crop, queen of rome, and master of marble. And you mak...

She stretches her hand out towards you. Will you shake it?!?! Historical AF Podcast and Art Sistory say "yes!" in this collab from the pre-Civil War stars! And Shake Hands? (1854) is the wonderfully w...

The Sistine Chapel (1508) is the triumph/torture of world's most famous and crustiest artist. Michelangelo may have never painted before but there was one thing he was definitely a master of; being a ...

Raphael! Master of the Renaissance! Painter of Beauty! And a sweet perfect boy who charmed all he met. All except... Michelangelo! Why did the almighty painter of twunks hate our sweet angel baby? And...

*Attention! This episode has discussions of sexual assault and rape. Skip the below timecodes if needed** No one paints a head chopping like Artemisia Gentileschi. It's got all you could ever want: bl...

If there was any sculpture that could be called the gayest, it would be this. Donatello's David (1450s) is a bastion of homoerotic glory. From his booty to his tooty, he is the one twink to rule them ...

It's a wild love story filled with passion and hardships in Renaissance Florence! A painter, forced to be a friar, and his beautiful model, forced to be a nun, a romance that can never be but falling ...

*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore, murder, and violence. Skip the below timecodes if needed** We are in the CRADLE OF THE RENAISSANCE! Florence town. Firenze is finally here. Brandi's h...

It's a spectacle. It's a popularity contest. It's a fun fair. It's a nightmare. Welcome to the 58th Venice Biennale! It's the art olympics where countries compete to be most... something. And Danni is...

Have you ever seen an artist that is all BALLS and no SH*T? That's Tintoretto, the nastiest boy in the best way. His art is quick, cheap, and bitchy. It's everything you could ever want in an artist. ...

Wow. We love Goya. From his bad paintings to his charming smile to his general lumpiness. And we aren't the only ladies who loved a little Goya in their lives. Join us as we talk about the two potenti...

Have you ever seen a painting and thought, "what"? Well, that's exactly how you should feel when face to face with the most WTF paintings in the Louvre, Gabrielle d'Estrées and One of her Sisters (159...

It is the puzzle that stumps all art historians. The enigma painting. The truly inscrutable masterpiece. It is Las Meninas (1656) by Diego Velazquez. What is going on in this ding dang thing!? Art his...

*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore and executions. Skip the below timecodes if needed** This week we got nasty! Well, mostly Danni. She became compelled to tell the frightful story of Ja...

We are in Victorian England! And there's nothing the Victorians loved more than a scandal. And John Everett Millais was an expert at getting wrapped up in them. Yes, his painting, Christ in the House ...

Our good friend and french art history buff, Hadley Leary, sent us on a mission to find the one, the only, Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun and her painting, Peace Bringing Back Abundance (1780). This p...

What is it about her? Her knowing gaze? Those bald brows? That subtle smile? There is something about the Mona Lisa (1503) that makes everybody go gaga! Kings were poopin' with it! Boys were throwing ...

We've made it to Paris and it's got the key to our heart. This town also got more art than any town has the right to have. And out of all the masterpieces upon masterpieces at the Louvre we found the ...

Did you know that there is a church on the outskirts of Prague, decorated with hundreds of human bones?!? With all those bones, you gotta wonder, who do they belong to? And that's just what Danni is h...

Welcome to our first ever collab episode! Today our good friend and Prague expert, Eve Asher, sent us on a horrible adventure to see the art of the resident Czech Republic Bad Boy, David Černý. His ar...

How does one man's art go from petty theater dressings to gracing every teens' phone case and tumblr background? Well, all it takes is talent, sugar daddies, luck, and call from the one and only Sarah...

Have you ever seen somebody so hot you think, hey, that can't be real? That's not allowed! That should be impossible! Well, neither had we until we saw THE QUEEN!! The Bust of Nefertiti (1345) is like...

The Severan Tondo (200) will blow ya goddamn mind. First of all, it features the family of the Roman Emperor, Septimus Severus, a guy who won the throne after the bloody Year of the 5 Emperors. But th...

On the finale of our Russia extravaganza, Danni takes us to the most famous painting in the Hermitage, Danaë (1636)! Now she looks a little... melted.. now but that doesn't mean she doesn't contain mu...

The Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood is the most rock n' roll church in all of Russia. And it's not just the name, Spilled Blood has the chutzpah to back it up. She's got gingerbread aesthetic, b...

We made it to Europe! And our first stop: Fabergé Eggs. Who made 'em? Who were they for? And why are these dumb little things so expensive?! Danni is here to tell you all about it! And it's much more ...

New Orleans always got music playin', start in the daytime go all through the night. Especially abouts the witching hour when the haunting sound of a funeral hymn comes from the St. Louis Cathedral. A...

If you've ever been to New Orleans, you may have seen this dog. Just a yellow eyed little so-and-so plastering every hotel, street corner, and restaurant! So why is he so famous? Well, Danni is here t...

By this point you must know that Art Sistory loves America, the greatest country in the world. We've got all our pals to thank for that: Tommy J, Benji Frank, Lin Manuel Miranda. But no one can forget...

This episode is about two things: our beautiful perfect country and bad art! Yes this portrait of Paul Revere (1768) may look just like Jack Black (and it is Jack Black) but that doesn't stop Danni fr...

Have you ever wondered what 39 famous and influential women's vaginas look like? Well you're in luck!! The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is just that! Unless you want to see any women of color o...

Madame X is an unconventional beauty! Completely unpaintable! And hopelessly lazy! But she can do whatever she wants. Why? Well it's not just because she's wealthy. Her soul is rich. She knows it. Joh...

Rosa Bonheur is the original feminist, lesbian, butch, farmcore, horse girl and we must all praise her. She grew up worshiping socialist jesus. She was openly married to her childhood sweetheart, Nath...

What is in an expression? Is it pride? Sadness? Anger? Love? Why not all at once! Today we discuss our first piece at The Met, "Juan De Pareja" (1650), a captivating portrait by none other than Diego ...

Have you ever thought you were going to a house and ended up in an endless horror maze cooked up by a mad man boy child? Well that's what happened to us when we showed up at The House on the Rock in S...

The only original Praxiteles sculpture might just be in Cleveland, Ohio. Or it might be a 19th century lawn gnome. We may never know. And Cleveland certainly isn't telling us. Welcome to our newest ep...

Have you ever seen a big big mirror bean and thought, this is the center of a giant art battle between good and evil? Well it is! "Cloud Gate" (2006), otherwise known as The Bean, was created by a big...

This is it. Perhaps the best art? At the very least, it's better than Degas. "The Child's Bath" (1893) by Mary Cassatt is the art that convinced baby Danni to be an artist. Get ready for some in depth...

"American Gothic" (1930). You know this painting. You've seen this painting. It's got memes, it's got parodies, it's got everything. And it's just a boring portrait of two farmers! Right....? No way! ...

Max Beckmann just can't catch a break! Becoming a medic in WWI, a bunch of nazis calling his art trash, getting exiled from home, being forced to deal with the US visa system! It would drive anyone to...

A big huge holy moley is it gigantic head, sitting in the middle of the Olympic Sculpture Park, and her name is "Echo" (2011). The monumental sculpture by Juame Plensa is named after a little chatty l...

We in Seattle! And today we talk about the show, 'yəhaw̓', at the King Street Station. 200 different indigenous artists, a revolutionary curatorial process. Plus Danni just might have a crush on Micha...

We're in Amarillo! And this is a Lil' Sis, a little baby podcast within a podcast. Today we stumble across a weird art literally jammed into the side of the freeway. And give you just a little taste o...

Today Brandi and Danni continue their exploration at the de Young museum in San Francisco with the Harald Wagner Teotihuacan Murals (6th century). These mural chunks come from the ancient Mesoamerican...

Join us in this first episode of Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni have traveled to the San Francisco de Young museum to see the "Tahitian Woman With a Flower" (1891), by Paul Gauguin. Gaugin may get his ...

Check out the trailer for the newest traveling art history podcast, Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni are two sisters that just happen to be dead inside. But they found a solution: art! ...