Normalize therapy.
2026 by Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele. For personal self-help use only.1
Average play count275
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SubscribersIntroduction
Scanning, ogling, and objectification are behaviors that continue the patterns of porn addiction in the real world. They impact your relationship, your partner’s sense of safety and trust...
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- 1 month ago
39:56
Introduction
If pornography addiction were simply about having a high sex drive, you wouldn’t find yourself reaching for it when you’re exhausted after a long workday, when you’re feeling lonely on a ...
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- 1 month ago
33:54
Introduction
A phone buzzes on the nightstand. The betrayed partner’s chest tightens, their heart pounds, and suddenly they’re flooded with the same panic they felt on discovery day—even though it’s j...
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- 2 months ago
31:37
Introduction
You’ve made it thirty days without pornography. Maybe sixty. Perhaps you’ve even crossed the ninety-day threshold that so many recovery communities celebrate. Yet despite the streak on yo...
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- 2 months ago
29:20
Introduction
Breaking a trauma bond is not about willpower or “just leaving”—it’s a neurological uncoupling process where your brain’s hijacked reward and attachment systems must be gradually rewired ...
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- 2 months ago
13:01
Introduction
Betrayal trauma bonding is the physiological and emotional attachment that forms to a partner who has shattered your reality through deliberate secrecy, gaslighting, and partial disclosur...
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- 2 months ago
23:07
Safety Disclaimer
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Domestic violence is a life-threatening situation. The most dangerous time is often when you attempt to leave—75% of DV murders occur after ...
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- 2 months ago
23:53
If you feel “crazy” for missing someone who hurts you, or “addicted” to a person you know is harmful, you’re not broken. Your brain is responding exactly as it was designed to respond to a very specif...
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- 2 months ago
21:20
Introduction
Betrayal trauma profoundly affects both brain function and physical health, extending well beyond emotional pain. When a trusted person—such as a romantic partner, family member, or close...
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- 3 months ago
26:12
Childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) frequently manifest in adult life through patterns so subtle that many people never connect them to their early years. These hidden signs oper...
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- 3 months ago
32:25
Introduction
Understanding and calming hypervigilance through grounding techniques for feeling safe involves learning specific strategies that help regulate your nervous system while maintaining neces...
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- 4 months ago
16:46
“How couples argue and disagree about issues appears to be more consequential to the success of marriage than what they argue about or how often they experience conflicts.”
To reword the above quote t...
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- 4 months ago
21:51
Key Takeaways
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that makes victims question their memory, perception, and sanity through deliberate manipulation
The term is originally derived from the 193...
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- 5 months ago
21:59
Discovering that your partner might be struggling with sex addiction can feel overwhelming and frightening. You may be experiencing confusion, deep hurt, or uncertainty about your next steps. If you&#...
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- 5 months ago
20:39
Loving someone who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is a journey many walk but few discuss openly. As the partner, you stand in a unique and often challenging place. You may feel confuse...
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- 6 months ago
47:26
For many performers, the voice can feel like a mystery. You practice the techniques, you know the music, but a persistent block, chronic tension, or crippling stage fright holds you back from your tr...
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- 6 months ago
38:13
Key Takeaways
Dr. John Gottman’s research identifies four critical predictors of divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling
Safety must come first – marriages involving abuse...
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- 6 months ago
42:54
Key Takeaways
Pornography withdrawal can cause both psychological symptoms (anxiety, depression, irritability) and physical symptoms (insomnia, fatigue, headaches), commonly referred to as porn addic...
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- 7 months ago
22:46
If you’re struggling with pornography addiction, you’re not alone in wondering how long the road to recovery might be. The journey to break free from compulsive pornography use is deeply personal, but...
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- 7 months ago
39:47
What if I told you that the people who seem the most controlling are often the ones who feel the most out of control on the inside? This paradox is a profound truth frequently encountered in couple’s ...
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- 8 months ago
32:34
Disclosing an affair is one of the most critical and challenging conversations a husband can have with his wife. When mishandled, this revelation will certainly extend the healing process and possibly...
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- 8 months ago
43:25
For centuries, female sexuality has been misunderstood, wrapped in myths that have been presented as truth. From assumptions that a woman’s sex drive diminishes after kids or is inherently lower...
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- 9 months ago
00:00
Cultural scripts and traditional myths often oversimplify male desire, shrinking it into a single, physical dimension. But the reality is far more complex and beautiful. What if your understanding of ...
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- 9 months ago
00:00
Yes, your brain can recover from porn addiction. The neurological changes that pornography creates are real, but they are not permanent. The same brain plasticity that allowed the addiction to form in...
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- 9 months ago
33:08
What if the struggles you face today are actually signs of childhood trauma you never knew you had? When we think of trauma, we often picture extreme events. But it’s possible that the persisten...
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- 9 months ago
00:00
Do you find yourself repeatedly involved with people who leave you feeling drained, confused, or questioning yourself? Have you ever wondered, “Why do I keep attracting toxic people?” If s...
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- 9 months ago
37:55
The discovery of a partner’s betrayal can instantly shatter your world, leaving you reeling with shock, disbelief, and profound pain. This isn’t an exaggeration; it’s a deep psycholo...
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- 9 months ago
49:57
Infidelity vs. Sex Addiction: Navigating Betrayal and Paths to Healing
When betrayal hits, the pain runs deep. It’s an experience that shatters trust and leaves individuals grappling with intens...
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- 10 months ago
44:36
In the intricate dance of life and relationships, the concept of boundaries often arises as a critical tool for maintaining balance and well-being. However, despite their importance, many people unkn...
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- 10 months ago
36:49
Have you ever felt constantly on edge? Like no matter how much you try to relax, your body just won’t let you? Maybe you struggle with sleep, feel disconnected from others as you go through dail...
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- 1 year ago
30:17
Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse where you just couldn’t get through to them? You’re trying to explain something, but they’re either not listening or completely misunderstanding you. ...
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- 1 year ago
29:44
Welcome Back: Where We’ve Been and What’s Next for the Podcast
In our 280th episode, we provide an update after a five-year hiatus!
We discuss our personal experiences, including burnout...
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- 1 year ago
17:34
We’re here to talk
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control...
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- 5 years ago
23:21
This is a subject we’ve wanted to address for some time. We see some irony in the work we do with couples or individuals when it comes to abuse. Often, though not always, people who are in a relations...
- 1
- 5 years ago
31:44
How do I know if I can trust my spouse again? This question represents one of the most profound dilemmas a betrayed spouse will struggle with as they journey towards healing after a significant betray...
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- 5 years ago
36:35
We talked a lot about the 4 predominant styles of attachment in episodes 251 to 254. Attachment is basically the science of love, and in the marriage counseling world, it’s one of the core issues that...
- 1
- 5 years ago
41:23
Did you know that the research shows that marriage takes a hit when you have kids? One author reported in 2005 that an analysis of 90 different research studies showed the drop in marital satisfaction...
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- 6 years ago
20:31
Reasonably often, we get inquiries from a wife whose husband is addicted to pornography and he won’t do anything about it. In this article we want to help you prepare for that first serious confrontat...
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- 6 years ago
24:44
Well, we live in unprecedented times as many of us are adjusting to a global crisis. We are recording this episode in the middle of the 2020 Coronavirus pandemic, with some of our listeners in cities ...
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- 6 years ago
20:59
While the disclosure of infidelity is never going to be a happy experience for either the betrayer or the betrayed spouse, you need to know that there are helpful and unhelpful ways to go about it. An...
- 1
- 6 years ago
27:22
If you are trying to break a pornography addiction, one of the best things you can do is to find a group that you can join in addition to doing individual counselling. Fortunately, there are a number ...
- 1
- 6 years ago
27:13
If you have betrayed your spouse and disclosed that betrayal to them, one thing you will have become very aware of is the rage that betrayal can cause. In our experience in working with couples, many ...
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- 6 years ago
25:28
Compassion is probably something that you find harder to provide for yourself than for others. However, did you know that self-compassion can help your marriage? Yes, we often talk about what you coul...
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- 6 years ago
21:25
The thought of disclosing an affair to your spouse can be quite terrifying. Many people experience intense fear when considering whether to reveal cheating or affairs, knowing it will cause a lot of d...
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- 6 years ago
28:07
If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed during conflict, then this article is for you. We describe the psychological experience of flooding: when you white out or shut down or get hijacked by yo...
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- 6 years ago
20:59
We’re here to talk
If you are married, it’s more than likely that you’ve had a discussion with your spouse at some point about a friendship between one of you and someone outside your marriage....
- 1
- 6 years ago
31:04
Four episodes back we addressed the topic of pain during sex for women and that show received a lot of downloads. Today we return to the topic but this time for men. Sexual issues like this can be dif...
- 1
- 6 years ago
20:07
We’re here to talk
The purpose of today’s episode is simply to act as an eye-opener. In our online counseling agency, we help a lot of men break their pornography addiction. One common theme is...
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- 6 years ago
20:15
What do you do when you’re going to see family for the holidays or on a vacation and you know that not everybody is in that healthy place where they’re going to be able to show you, your spouse and ki...
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- 6 years ago
22:07
Is your spouse taking you for granted? Well, you may be expecting us to pick on that nasty spouse of yours: but as we often point out, the only person you can change is yourself. Today we’re going to ...
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- 6 years ago
33:11
Description
Formerly: The Marriage Podcast for Smart People. Co-hosted by Caleb and Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele. We are married to each other and are both counselors who have worked extensively with couples and individuals. We own Therapevo Counselling Inc., a counselling agency that delivers hope and healing to clients across North America and beyond via secure Zoom video call.
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